tyleroakley:

NO FLAWS DETECTED.

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

kissesformabitches:

they was talking real shit back then and i took it as a joke

wizardsandhijack:

hospitalf0rsouls:

Omfg so if Mary had baby Jesus, and baby Jesus was the Lamb of God…

did Mary have a little lamb?

you broke the world

nihilisticc:

So my parents just found out about my fourteen year old brother smoking weed because they found this on his window ledge. So in the middle of a huge lecture my dad decides to open the Baggie and smell it to see how strong it is. He immediately starts crying with laughter. THIS NIGGA HAS BEEN BUYING AND SMOKING FUCKING OREGANO. FUCKIN ITALIAN HERBS. SON. I CAN’T. I CANNOT. I CAN’T DO THIS.

bangcaster:

you can still be thick and have a thigh gap 

necrophilofthefuture:

thiS WAS A SIGN AT MY AQUARIUM BEFORE THEY REALIZED THEY WERE OFFERING TO KILL CHILDREN AND TOOK IT DOWN

romangodfrey:

keep your friends close, but your enemies closer

like really, very close

intimately close 

so close that you can feel your enemies breath on your neck

and you shiver with hatred and… anticipation? 

turn around and look deep into your enemies eyes, letting your gaze drag down to their lips, your eyes intense with desire. push your enemies up against the wall.

make out with your enemies.

your friends, who are still close, are super uncomfortable and kinda grossed out

hiddlestalker:

your-pal-lindsay:

thesmoshfangirl:

chinchillaghosts:

wivernryder:

chinchillaghosts:

heyfunnie:

why is bob short for robert

how does one get ‘billy’ out of ‘william’?

How in hell do you get “Dick” from “Richard”?

you ask him nicely

you ask him nicely

i have been waiting for yEARS FOR THIS POST TO COME BACK YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

There’s a kid in my class named Richard Hunter

rosalarian:

Angelina Jolie had a double mastectomy, in case you hadn’t heard. How dare she remove those ticking time bombs from her chest, amiright? Like, hasn’t she learned by now that her body is public domain and we all get to vote on what she does with it? Sheesh, how selfish can ya get.

never driving agian 

l0vestephaany:

So… Chemistry state test tomorrow, I’m screwed.. 

sexyboysandromance:

just-zac-efron:

Zac Efron and his brother Dylan

I would like to take a minute to thank their parents.

nue:

i HATE when i walk into class late and everyone just turns and stares at me like i killed two people when i obviously killed seven